Post #4: An Excursion to Silver Lake

Bread Loaf Xian

Hey, Folks, it's Friday, July 6th, and I'm not on the Mountain! Egads. What will happen to me? Will I immediately revert back to the pre-mountain version of myself?

Off-The-Mountain Xian

Peace? Or the number of brain cells remaining? 

If I'm not on the Mountain, where am I, you ask? Burlington,VT home of the seminal band Phish and Coat Factories. Burlington is a special town, a place where the folks are gentle and caring. A place where the locals love their organic veggies, good music, and natural beauty; it's also a place where they despise barbershops, deodorant, and washing machines. My kind of town.

The view along Rt. 7

Specifically, I'm in a coffee shop, Uncommon Grounds, sitting with fellow Front Desk Maven, Gene, whose name means Noble Birth in some language, probably Swahili. Gene is living up to his name by graciously agreeing to drive me to the airport. 


"Why?" you ask. Because I'm heading back to NYC--Queens to be exact--to attend a close friend's wedding. This particular friend--known as Jimi Worm--is the first male friend of my inner circle to get married. My father's generation had several words for this occasion: 

Jimi has just been told what the terms of marriage are. 

"The Draft," being just one of them.

So I thought for today, since I'm heading back to the city, I'd share some pictures from another excursion, a hike to Silver Lake, a few miles from Bread Loaf. The trip was led by the newly appointed "Excursion Coordinator," our very own MacNair. MacNair was quite worried before the hike that no one would show up. To cheer her up, Fellow Maven Gene and I decided to name our bocce ball team after her. Our name: "The MacNe'er-Do-Wells." 

Our leader was so ecstatic about the large turnout that she tried to fly to  Silver lake. 

Victoria Brown, wife of Edward Brown. They are the ruling legends of the Front Desk Mavens. The Captain and Tenille  of the Front Desk. I'm not sure if Victoria is Captain or Tenille.  Actually, based on Edward's penchant for insanity, I'd say she's both.

Three people, most likely meth dealers, appreciating nature. 

Some Grade A nature.

My new nickname up here in Vermont is "Nickel Slots." My fellow Maven, Gene, donned me Nickel Slots because of a disparaging remark made by Maven Overlord, Ed Brown, about my choice of head wear. Ed Brown says my hat--a pretty sweet vintage fishing hat purchased in the Rocky Mountains---is something only a 90 year old man who gambles in Atlantic City would wear. Hence, "Nickel Slots."
It could have been worse. It could have been "Nickel Back."

Victoria and fellow Loafer, Charlie. Victoria is trying to calm me down.  I probably saw something terrifying like a chipmunk. I'm very scared of "Nature."

In fact, this is how I  feel on the inside whenever I'm out walking in "nature." 

My group was one of the last to make it to the mythical Silver Lake. When we did we discovered something truly remarkable: a Nerd Cult gathered for a Nerd Baptism. This has never been documented before today. 

 In the years before the Ritual Nerd Baptism (RNB) this Bread Loafer was a degenerate known for one thing and one thing only: reading the USA Today. For the articles. 

Charlie, emerging the water, no longer a fan of Led Zepplin or the NFL, instead preferring Keats and Shelley. 

Chantel, English Lit teacher from Haiti. Nerdery on a Global Scale. 

Getting ready to join the Cult for the Ritual Dunking. 

You can't see from the picture but this what my chest looked like before I entered the water. 

And this is what I looked like afterwards. 

Victoria: a pose with bows. 

The Ritual Baptism is over, so now the English Nerds are frantically trying to compose nature poetry about what they "experienced." 

The high stakes pressure to compose immediate post-swim poetry induced vomiting in some of our Nerd Pack. I can assure you, however, that is was literary vomit. 

Dammit, Spock! The Nerds are escaping! The Nerds are escaping! 

Where did we hide the body? 

Back at the Inn, Edward Brown sits, mouth agape, as we regale him with tales of Silver Lake. Why is he so shocked? "I can't believe someone as idiotic as you somehow managed to not drown." 

Excursion complete. Now it's off to New York City.

Enjoy. 

Christian Patrick Clarke

Front Desk Novitiate, 2012

Hic et Ubique