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Monday, July 30, 2012

Post #14: A Special Weekend

Hey Folks! It's Monday, July 30th, and we've officially begun Week 6 of Bread Loaf, the last full week for all non-seniors. Week 6 is notable for two things: 1) It's the debut of the summer play, which is Hamlet and 2) It's the week after Suppressed Desires. In other words this is the week where everyone cleans up the mess, both the visible ones and the harder-to-scrub invisible ones.

So much happened over the weekend, it's difficult to decide where to begin. For one, as you know, I had a Special Visitor. Having a Special Visitor carries with it certain obligations. One might call these obligations, "labors of love." The history books are littered with menfolk going to great lengths to please their Special Visitors. Would the Pyramids of Giza have been built were not for the Pharaohs trying to impress their Special Visitors? Methinks not. I am no different, folks. For instance, when the Special Visitor mentioned--weeks ago mind you--that she liked men with beards I put away the clippers.
John Walker Lindh beards: catnip for ladies who love English Nerds. 

When the Special Visitor said she wanted to peruse a groovy gift shop while stopping for lunch in the small hippie mountain town of Bristol, Vermont, I obliged. What the heck, right? And when the groovy and well-toned shopkeeper mentioned showed us a flier for something called The Gathering of Elders, complete with multicultural disembodied heads against a background of outer space, the Special Visitor said, "Hey, that sounds cool, let's go visit!" So we visited.

And that's how I, along with my Special Visitor, found myself in the middle of something called an Arbor Circle, a Stonehenge-like structure made of trees, with dozens of hippies of all ages, sizes, and colors, dancing around a sacred Native American fire. Not sure how that happened, folks. Perhaps it's because I was "smudged." That's right, a prerequisite to enter the circle was being "smudged," which meant being fumigated by a man named Brian who wielded a bowl of incense that smelled highly unusual. The Special Visitor said it was Sage. I say it was Peyote.  Regardless, I was smudged up beyond belief.  I won't tell you too much more since it doesn't pertain to English Nerds or Bread Loaf, but I will say that we re-enacted, through interpretive dance, the Big Bang, the beginning of the solar system, and the collision of the four basic elements of earth, air, water, and fire. For the record, I was earth and the Special Visitor was water. And then we sang a Native American hymn.

Following two women whose names I imagine are something PineMother and SoaringEagle into the Arbor Circle.

Luckily, once we returned from the astral plane, the Special Visitor and I made it back to campus on Saturday for the big dance.

To conclude today's post,  I thought I'd share a few self-selected winners from the Suppressed Desires Dance.

Most Nearly Unibrowed Nerd

Most Clever Nerd. Get it? Suppressed Desires=Hidden Drive?

Most Troubling Nerd: Matt, the director's assistant, as Oedipus Rex. This poor guy pours the beers for raging nerds at every single Barn dance but is not allowed a single drop himself. His ode to Oedipus Rex was well done, certainly, but when asked what his suppressed desire was Matt responded, cryptically, (problematically?), that it was the Oedipus Complex itself. What does that mean?

Most Best costume Nerd. Matty V., as Borat. He make nice impression character good. 
Most Scorned Nerd: Lindsay C., the co-headwaiter for Bread Loaf. Here Lindsay is dressed as Miss Effie. Lindsey, offended by the prevailing ignorance of her costume, indignantly informed people that Miss Effie is a character from The Hunger Games. A character we found out, who has about 6 seconds of screen time in the film. After Lindsay did not win the best costume of the night she showed her contempt for the contest by shedding her costume in favor of a bikini. That'll show 'em! 
Most Obscure But Cheerful Nerd: This young lady came dressed as Scout Finch from a scene in To Kill a Mockingbird when Scout dressed as Ham for the school play. Or something like that. By this time in the evening it was difficult to pay attention to things like Nerds who dress up fictional characters dressed as food products. 

This the tub in the men's bathroom on the second floor of the Inn. Until this weekend, this tub has been spotless, mostly because there isn't one man I know who bathes in a tub. When we woke up on the morning after Suppressed Desires, this is what we found, the evidence of someone gone off the rails and into the woods. 

And for today's installment of Edward Insults Me: recently, Edward and I were talking about how fellow Maven Gene, a connoisseur of culture, will someday likely become a well-known and very influential taste-maker. Edward said, "We'll be able to say, 'Hey, remember when Gene liked us?'" Then he thought for a second and continued. "Well, you won't be able to say that. You'll have to say, 'Hey, remember when Gene worked with me.' Sorry, slick." 

Christian Patrick Clarke
Front Desk Novitiate, 2012
Hic et Ubique

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